MOVE 69 · ACCOUNTABILITY & DOCUMENTATION · FREE
Reference the Agreement, Not the Feeling
When a commitment is broken, point to the specific agreement and its terms, rather than how let down or frustrated you feel.
Agreements can be discussed calmly; disappointment invites defensiveness.
WHY IT WORKS
Emotional framing ('I'm really frustrated') puts people on the defensive and turns the issue into a debate about feelings. Referring to the documented agreement — date, term, what happened — keeps the conversation factual, shared and focused on remedy.
WHEN TO USE IT
- A payment, deliverable or deadline was missed.
- You feel angry and want to stay professional.
WHEN NOT TO USE IT
- There is no clear agreement; first establish one.
- The relationship needs an emotional repair conversation more than a contractual one.
SIGNALS IT FITS
- You are drafting a message full of adjectives.
- You want to say 'as I've said many times'.
PREPARATION
- Find the exact agreement text or recap.
- List what was agreed and what happened, with dates.
STEP BY STEP
- Quote or summarise the agreement.
- State what happened factually.
- Ask what will happen next or propose a remedy.
- Confirm the remedy in writing.
OPENING LINE
“Our agreement was payment within 30 days of invoice; the invoice is now 45 days old.”
SCRIPT
Our agreement specifies payment within 30 days. Invoice #204 was issued on 1 March and is now overdue. Can you confirm when it will be paid?
LIKELY RESPONSES & COUNTERS
- If they apologise and give a date
- Thank them and confirm the date in writing.
- If they dispute the agreement
- Share the relevant text calmly and ask which part they read differently.
SECOND MOVE
If the agreement continues to be broken, use Agree on What Happens If It Slips or Escalate the Issue, Not the Person.
FOLLOW-UP
Log the breach and the agreed remedy.
COMMON MISTAKES
- Opening with how disappointed you are.
- Quoting the agreement in a sarcastic tone.
WALK-AWAY CONDITIONS
- Agreed terms are repeatedly broken despite factual reminders.
EXAMPLE (FICTIONAL)
A supplier stopped sending 'I'm really frustrated' emails and started quoting payment terms and invoice dates. Average days-to-payment from her slowest client dropped from 62 to 38.
ETHICAL BOUNDARY
Make sure the agreement says what you claim. Overstating contractual terms is a legal and ethical risk; seek qualified advice where stakes are high.
RELATED MOVES
Content version 1 · Drafted by Power Move IQ Editorial · Not yet human-reviewed · Educational decision support, not legal, financial or employment advice.